Thanks ... um ... guys, I used this thread as inspiration to try to rebuild my BT stuff. I'd updated drivers and such, but registry hacking had yielded one or two of the links/uses that XP has for Bt devices inoperable.
So I uninstalled the ThinkPad Bluetooth IV software, version 3.0.1.918. I actually had it two places on my hard drive. Rebooted. Reinstalled the Thinkpad Bluetooth Software... . and the dreaded Microsoft Bluetooth Enumerator came along for the ride, creating the equally ugly little red BT icon in the Windows Dessert Tray (some call it the system tray, others the notification area). BT card on, working fine. As per the instructions above, right-clicking the MS Bluetooth Enumerator in Device manager (DEVMGMT.MSC), "Update driver," and pointing it at my IBM Bluetooth software folder ... does nothing. But Right-clicking the "ThinkPad Integrated Bluetooth IV" under Bluetooth Devices, "Update Driver," and pointing it at the folder,... and several things updated for 15-20 seconds, and the Microsoft Bluetooth Enumerator went away.
So, with a clean slate, I verified with teh Bluetooth Setup Wizard that all BT services were up and configured to the default settings. Set the BT headset to pair with a new "phone" (important point here), and told the Bluetooth Setup Wizard to find new devices and discover services (you could as easily tell it a) to setup an audio headset and search for devices that support that, or b) tell it to find audio devices and discover all services on them). It found my headset (
Sony HBH-200, by the way), discovered its service, and paired up after providing the headset's PIN. Voila. And, when they're connected, it works.
Did the same with the phone (Nokia 3650). Sending a pic from the phone works like a charm. And vice versa.
Now the only gotcha is that when I want to use it with the phone again, I have to reset it to pair with another "phone." Not sure what this does with the pairing from my TP. Will report later, after some supper and Star Trek Season One break.
It is indeed unintuitive. Thanks for Microsoft's (really, XP SP2's) weird way of "discovering" a new device after you've installed the software, you have to update the device to "fix" XP's glitch.
Chris, feel free to incorporate any of this into your sticky/instructional. I think you're 80% of the way to a very fine how-to FAQ.
