Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

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Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#1 Post by Kyocera » Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:26 pm

http://www.wral.com/news/national_world ... y/4943646/


This is bad news for Global Warming, where is Al Gore now when we need him :??: .

Everyone knows that an increasing Pirate Population will absolutely begin to reverse the effects of Global warming, this is fact not theory, please check the data: http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/

If Obama tries this tactic Global warming is inevitable! The fact that pirates are making a comeback points to the truth behind a "natural balance" which is inevitable.


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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#2 Post by dsvochak » Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:38 pm

Thank you Mike for bringing attention to this issue which has been sadly neglected since the discussion of evolution v intelligent design.

While there is no doubt about the data, it is all too often ignored.
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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#3 Post by Kyocera » Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:46 pm

It is rather ironic too, that we have not heard much about Global Warming in recent months, I believe there is a direct corellation that since there are now more pirates in the seas, Global warming gets pushed to the back burner.

I'm sure there is global temperature data to support that the earth is now going into a severe cooling state since these pirates are sailing the seas again.

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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#4 Post by beGi » Mon Apr 13, 2009 3:33 pm

Wow... :shock:

I think we should join the pirates and save the earth...

Who will bring sauce in case His Noodly Appendage attacks us, so we can defend ourselves by eating it?

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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#5 Post by dsvochak » Mon Apr 13, 2009 4:03 pm

Should the FSM become angered, sauce will clearly be insufficient. That is a truth recognized by all pastafarians.
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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#6 Post by killer » Mon Apr 13, 2009 5:48 pm

Pirates are terrorists, and always have been. There is no correlation between pirates and global warming, although there is correlation between piracy and death amongst innocent seafarers.

IMO, what the US Navy did this morning was exemplary.

The Royal Navy did this in the Caribbean during the 18th century by attacking not only the pirate vessels, but also their bases. The US Navy used similar tactics to rid everyone of Barbary Coast pirates.

If the combined military might of the world were to attack the Somalian bases and destroy their boats, equipment and grab all their stolen wealth then the world would be a happier place.

You might not like President Obama and you might not agree with Al Gore but your country elected them democratically.

Long John Silver (ahaa, Jim lad) etc., is pure romantic nonsense. Pirates cost all of us serious amounts of money.

Global warming is another problem. Life is too short to describe how much the US and China have done to cause it and how little they have done to prevent it from getting worse. Don't mock it ... do something about it.

I rest my case, m'lud.
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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#7 Post by bill bolton » Mon Apr 13, 2009 6:41 pm

Does anyone else think that a commercial vessel crewed, seemingly, entirely by US mariners is a bit odd?

Commercial marine crews are almost entirley from places other than the major Western nations nowadays, with perhaps at most one or two Westerners in a crew.

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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#8 Post by Tõnis » Mon Apr 13, 2009 7:01 pm

bill bolton wrote:Does anyone else think that a commercial vessel crewed, seemingly, entirely by US mariners is a bit odd?

Commercial marine crews are almost entirley from places other than the major Western nations nowadays, with perhaps at most one or two Westerners in a crew.
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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#9 Post by GomJabbar » Mon Apr 13, 2009 7:03 pm

bill bolton wrote:Does anyone else think that a commercial vessel crewed, seemingly, entirely by US mariners is a bit odd?

Commercial marine crews are almost entirley from places other than the major Western nations nowadays, with perhaps at most one or two Westerners in a crew.
It was a US Flag vessel (unlike most that fly a flag of convenience), covered under the Jones Act. Because it was transporting relief aid from the US to a foreign country (Kenya), it was not unusual that it is a Jones Act vessel.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merchant_M ... ct_of_1920
Under U.S. cargo preference rules, the federal government requires that 75 percent of U.S.-financed food-aid shipments be transported on U.S.-flag ships. The Maritime Administration ensures that the food-aid agencies follow the cargo preference rules.
http://www.global-container-lines.com/g ... s0001.html


EDIT: A little more info that took me awhile to find (had some interuptions).
A U.S. Flag vessel is required to employ an American crew...
http://www.apl.com/boomerangbox/d15.htm


Content below condensed from original article
I thought this might be a good opportunity to talk about the role of the U.S.-flag merchant marine in the delivery of food aid. I’m going to focus in particular on how U.S.-flag vessels differ from foreign-flag vessels, why cargo preference is so vital, what is significant about the way cargo preference works, and how we can make ocean transportation more efficient.

Requirements like whether the crew must be of a certain nationality or whether the vessel owner pays taxes are decided by and large by the flag state.

Foreign-flag vessels documented in countries like Panama, Liberia and Belize impose only modest, if any, health and safety regulations, virtually no labor laws, and often lax environmental requirements upon the vessels they register. Foreign-flag vessel owners often pay their seafarers a third world wage and neither the vessel owners nor the seafarers pay taxes.

In contrast, U.S.-flag ship owners pay their U.S. citizen crews wages, as well as private health and pension benefits that are among the highest in the world.

Cargo preference laws require, as you know, that when the U.S. Government pays for and ships a cargo, a portion of these government-impelled cargoes must move in privately owned U.S.-flag vessels. This has been the law since the early 1950s when the U.S. Government started shipping more and more international cargoes and was first codified in the same year that PL 480 was enacted. For Department of Defense shipments, 100 percent of such cargoes must be carried under the U.S. flag. For food-aid cargoes, the requirement has been 75 percent since 1985 so long as U.S.-flag vessels are available at fair and reasonable rates.
http://www.fsa.usda.gov/Internet/FSA_Fi ... 080416.pdf
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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#10 Post by beGi » Mon Apr 13, 2009 7:22 pm

bill bolton wrote:Does anyone else think that a commercial vessel crewed, seemingly, entirely by US mariners is a bit odd?
Yes, i thought that too... I know that officers are "Westerners" in 90+% cases, and the rest of the crew is mostly made by Asians or Africans...
killer wrote:There is no correlation between pirates and global warming
Ofcourse there is no correlation (and even if there was, one couldn't know what is cause and what is consequence :) )...
killer wrote:US and China have done to cause it and how little they have done to prevent it from getting worse
Although I agree that they could do much more, global warming is inevitable and all what we can do is postpone it...

Earth has melted and froze back again many times in it's history, so I guess it is nature's way of hard reset (and humans are just catalyst, sort of)...

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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#11 Post by spuddog » Mon Apr 13, 2009 8:07 pm

So, do software, music and video pirates count? I knew we were saving the world.

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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#12 Post by dsvochak » Mon Apr 13, 2009 8:17 pm

You’re taking all the fun out of this.

I love the possibility of a causal relationship between the number of pirates and global warming--it make me laugh. And the chart in the letter from the Pastafarians to the Kansas School Board is correct: as the number of pirates decreased, global temperature increased. It’s a factoid.

Until Mike posted, I had entirely forgotten about the FSM and the pirate-global warming theory (which was featured in the evolution thread some time ago). The logic in the pirate-global warming theory is no worse than some of the arguments made in threads like “SO MANY SHOOTING”, but a lot funnier.

And besides, can you prove there isn’t a causal relationship?
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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#13 Post by Kyocera » Mon Apr 13, 2009 8:33 pm

So, do software, music and video pirates count? I knew we were saving the world.
Scott, I don't believe these are pirates in the "literal" sense of the word. It would be possible to include them if their appearance included one or more of the following characteristics:

Wearing an eyepatch
Sporting a parrot on shoulder
Using the term "aaarrrggh" a lot
Having a hook on one or more arms
Wooden leg or teeth

They would also have to be pirating the software while sailing on a boat in the seas.

dsvochak wrote:And besides, can you prove there isn’t a causal relationship?
Exactly.

I believe it is true based on the facts given in the "Open Letter" about Him
and the laws of inverse proportionality.

If Obama fails, and the pirate population grows, I firmly believe this will put global warming in check, furthermore, if Obama can regulate the population of pirates he can "even out" the global temps.

This would be a great achievement for the current administration and would clearly bring confidence to the people, the economy and probably the world. So, a lot is riding on this issue right now.

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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#14 Post by rkawakami » Mon Apr 13, 2009 8:43 pm

Kyocera wrote:It would be possible to include them if their appearance included one or more of the following characteristics:

Wearing an eyepatch <--- with my -4.25, toric contacts, that's close enough
Sporting a parrot on shoulder <--- until a couple of months ago, I did have a parrot on my shoulder a lot :(
Using the term "aaarrrggh" a lot <--- constantly, when dealing with a teenager
Having a hook on one or more arms <--- hmm... does hookworm qualify? My cats can probably give me a case
Wooden leg or teeth <--- got a root canal earlier this year, but it wasn't filled with sawdust
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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#15 Post by Kyocera » Mon Apr 13, 2009 8:48 pm

Ray, I must warn you, if you set foot on a sailing vessel you may be considered a pirate :eek: and thus arrested and processed.!

But on the bright side, if you do so, you will be helping our planet. :wink:


Killer,

I believe you are overlooking the facts that I have made up and the **data I’ve seen somewhere on the internet that supports this relationship between Pirates and Global Warming.

In the 1800’s there were approximately 35,000 bona fide black eye patch wearing, sword carrying, parrot sporting, bloodthirsty Pirates sailing the Seas. Striking fear and terror into the maritime seagoing public.

The facts are obvious here, that when 35,000 eye patch wearing, shoulder parrot sporting pirates look up into the sky on a sunny day their black (only accepted color of eye patch for real Pirates) eye patch will absorb the light, thus not reflecting the sun’s rays but absorbing them, this does not hurt the pirate but actually triggers a part of the neural system in the brain which causes a vocal response, “aarrghhh” is the familiar response as we know it today.

When the sun’s rays are absorbed into the eye patch of 35,000 Pirates the obvious result is cooler temperatures in the vicinity of the pirates head. Thus, the vicinity around a pirates head is cooler than around non-pirates.

The only conclusion anyone can draw here is clear, more Pirates, cooler temperatures.


**Real chart showing inverse relationship between Pirates and Global Warming.

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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#16 Post by JaneL » Mon Apr 13, 2009 10:55 pm

Kyocera wrote:The facts are obvious here, that when 35,000 eye patch wearing, shoulder parrot sporting pirates look up into the sky on a sunny day their black (only accepted color of eye patch for real Pirates) eye patch will absorb the light, thus not reflecting the sun’s rays but absorbing them, this does not hurt the pirate but actually triggers a part of the neural system in the brain which causes a vocal response, “aarrghhh” is the familiar response as we know it today.
OK, that is too funny - you owe me a keyboard and maybe a screen! :parrot:

(wanders off looking for a towel to mop up the mess)
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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#17 Post by jamiphar » Tue Apr 14, 2009 12:35 am

JaneL wrote:OK, that is too funny - you owe me a keyboard and maybe a screen! :parrot:

(wanders off looking for a towel to mop up the mess)
Now it's time to start the "What was Jane sipping on when she read this?" contest. ;) The winner gets the old keyboard and screen!

:EDIT:

Maybe I qualify as a pirate, I've a parrot on my shoulder before. Hmm, does a Zorro mask count as an eye patch? I could always be the Dread Pirate Roberts, he looks like Zorro!
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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#18 Post by killer » Tue Apr 14, 2009 5:34 pm

@Kyocera: I am puzzled.

A few months ago I posted a sarcastic article from the Times. You took issue with me because it was taking the p!ss out of George W. Bush. To paraphrase, you said that you supported every president regardless of their political stance and would not have a word said against them. Something to do with fighting for your country, which I respect.

Curious now that you take Obama's name in vain. Curious also that fighting terrorism, in the shape of pirates, is a source of amusement for you. Hence my puzzlement.

Perhaps I am wrong? Perhaps I should know better? It would help if you would explain your change of direction.

Meanwhile, however funny you find pirates (although your eye patch theory has some comic merit) I do not share that sense of comedy over the horrible situation off the Horn of Africa.

Maybe it is too far away for your country for you to understand the gravity of the situation?

Pirates are evil.

Again, I rest my case, m'lud.
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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#19 Post by JaneL » Tue Apr 14, 2009 9:22 pm

killer wrote:Maybe it is too far away for your country for you to understand the gravity of the situation?

Pirates are evil.
No one in this thread misunderstands the gravity of the situation, however most of us do see the humor in the absurd notion of lack of pirate eye patch surface area affecting global warming in the article that Kyocera dug up. Not everything in life has to be serious, and there's humor to be found in most situations.
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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#20 Post by mattbiernat » Tue Apr 14, 2009 10:01 pm

killer wrote:Pirates are terrorists, and always have been.
im sorry but you got the definition of a terrorist wrong. a terrorist is a person who intentionally kills/hurts/scares civilian population to achieve a specific political outcome.
- an attack on USS Cole was not a terrorist attack but an act of war (since no civilian population was targeted)
- taking over ships for means of getting money is also not a terrorist attack but an act of piracy
why do people call everything terrorism after 911, I don't understand.

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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#21 Post by Kyocera » Tue Apr 14, 2009 10:21 pm

@Kyocera: I am puzzled.

A few months ago I posted a sarcastic article from the Times
Oh right, I was wondering why you were getting wrapped around the axle. I spent 20+ years in the US Army, so I understand a little bit about global politics, war, my country, etc.

I guess I see your point about not understanding the situation but I could really care less.

Please continue to thrill me with your editorials and worldly knowledge of situations over my head.

You have indeed ruined this thread so I hope the mods lock it :twisted: .


SIDE BAR: Darryl (dsvochak) emailed me yesterday and said he enjoyed laughing at the story after a hard day of lawyering a hard headed judge. Jane shot Vodka through her nose, and Ray is trying to pass the Pirate qualification tests. Jamiphar, beGi, want to be pirates too and the last picture I saw of bill bolton he had a pirate beard and was sporting a parrot, so he's in. Gomjabber can traverse a long cable through the jungle holding a wheel with handles (kind of like what Johnny Depp does in Pirates of the Carribean) so that could come in handy for sailing a large ship. Hell we may have enough pirates here to freeze the earth solid :eek:

Lighten up there Killer, don't take you screen name so serious, it might be a good name for a pirate though now that i think of it. You're in, if you have a large flag with skull and crossbones.

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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#22 Post by beGi » Wed Apr 15, 2009 6:14 am

So, we're good to go...

I am happy to inform you that I have found large quantities of two main vitamin sources that are required for long sea journey: rum and sour cabbage...

Also, post rendez-vous point so I can pick you up with this beauty...

And Killer, we're waiting for that flag... :)

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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#23 Post by killer » Wed Apr 15, 2009 7:16 am

@kyocera. I don't want to stop anyone having a laugh. I have always had a great sense of humour and laughter is a joy to me. My concern with pirates is that they are villains of the worst kind and they cause terror in in the shipping industry. With all the pirate activity off the coast of Africa at the moment, perhaps the timing was imperfect?

@beGi. How's this, matey? Image

It is a picture of Captain Pugwash, famous in English childrens' literature since the 1950s. (BTW, It is complete bunkum that characters in the stories included Master B@tes, Seaman St@ines, and Roger the Cabin Boy. :oops: )
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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#24 Post by Kyocera » Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:48 pm

beGi, that's an awesome ship you got there :thumbs-UP: I think scurvey will be our main problem whilst at sea, vitamins will help to keep us sailing.

I'm picking up my Parrot next week and have poked out my left eye so's to bring some realism to my patch wearing, i don't think it works the same if you just cover up your eye :wink: .

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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#25 Post by dsvochak » Wed Apr 15, 2009 3:18 pm

Last night I began to wonder whether the solution to global warming required pirates. I thought that, if it was indeed the black eye patches and the skull and crossbones, we might accomplish the global warming solution if we all became Goths or perhaps Amish.

Now I see I was clearly mistaken. Black alone is insufficient. Again, thanks Mike for pointing this out.
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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#26 Post by JaneL » Wed Apr 15, 2009 3:57 pm

dsvochak wrote:Now I see I was clearly mistaken. Black alone is insufficient.
Even if we hold our ThinkPads up to add to the surface area?
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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#27 Post by rkawakami » Wed Apr 15, 2009 4:06 pm

JaneL wrote:Even if we hold our ThinkPads up to add to the surface area?
Some of us would need a ship's crew in order to perform this task! If we arrange ourselves in a perfect 1:4:9 configuration (holding on to our Thinkpads), would that cause Jupiter to condense into a sun and allow life on Europa to flourish?
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Re: Obama Pledges to Fight Pirate Population * Bad For Environme

#28 Post by beGi » Wed Apr 15, 2009 4:40 pm

rkawakami wrote:If we arrange ourselves in a perfect 1:4:9 configuration (holding on to our Thinkpads), would that cause Jupiter to condense into a sun and allow life on Europa to flourish?
Yes, but that would also be a signal for Flying Spaghetti Monster to come and noodle us...

We would be judged by His Noodly Appendage because of blasphemy...or renaissance, hmmm...

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