Do lawyers compute? (split from display resolution thread)

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Do lawyers compute? (split from display resolution thread)

#1 Post by asiafish » Thu Apr 29, 2010 2:14 pm

Megapixels? You want me to do math? I'm a lawyer, we don't have math in law school.
"An atheist is just somebody who feels about Yahweh the way any decent Christian feels about Thor or Baal or the golden calf. As has been said before, we are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further."

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Re: What's the display resolution of your main computer?

#2 Post by Marin85 » Thu Apr 29, 2010 3:16 pm

asiafish wrote:Megapixels? You want me to do math? I'm a lawyer, we don't have math in law school.
In some countries they actually do/did :D
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Re: What's the display resolution of your main computer?

#3 Post by RealBlackStuff » Thu Apr 29, 2010 5:35 pm

we don't have math in law school
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Re: What's the display resolution of your main computer?

#4 Post by rkawakami » Thu Apr 29, 2010 6:24 pm

OT:
asiafish wrote:I'm a lawyer, we don't have math in law school.
Then how do you determine your billable hours? Pick a random figure out of the air? :P

<-- Who fortunately has not had any reason to consult the legal profession yet....

And to respond to the original question in this thread... 1400x1050.
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Re: What's the display resolution of your main computer?

#5 Post by dsvochak » Thu Apr 29, 2010 7:41 pm

The lawyer dies, and (s)he goes to heaven. As the attorney passes through the pearly gates, a crowd is waiting, cheering. The lawyer is amazed at the reception, and sees St. Peter in front of the crowd. "A special day!" St. Peter proclaims, "It's not every day that we get the opportunity to welcome someone here who has lived for a hundred and forty-five years!" "Uh, a hundred and forty-five?", the lawyer muses aloud. "But, I was only fifty nine years old when I passed away." St. Peter looks concerned. "What's the meaning of this!" he exclaims. "Summon the Holy Accountant at once!" Very soon a nebbish looking angel appears, peering through bifocals and frantically flipping the pages of a very large ledger book. "I don't understand where I could have made a mistake," the Holy Accountant says, "I added up his billable hours ..."
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Re: What's the display resolution of your main computer?

#6 Post by asiafish » Fri Apr 30, 2010 12:53 pm

rkawakami wrote: Then how do you determine your billable hours? Pick a random figure out of the air? :P

<-- Who fortunately has not had any reason to consult the legal profession yet....

And to respond to the original question in this thread... 1400x1050.
I don't do billable hours. My cases are all flat fee.

1680X1050, by the way, on the new i7 15" MacBook Pro.
"An atheist is just somebody who feels about Yahweh the way any decent Christian feels about Thor or Baal or the golden calf. As has been said before, we are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further."

Richard Dawkins, 2002

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Re: What's the display resolution of your main computer?

#7 Post by asiafish » Fri Apr 30, 2010 12:56 pm

dsvochak wrote:The lawyer dies, and (s)he goes to heaven. As the attorney passes through the pearly gates, a crowd is waiting, cheering. The lawyer is amazed at the reception, and sees St. Peter in front of the crowd. "A special day!" St. Peter proclaims, "It's not every day that we get the opportunity to welcome someone here who has lived for a hundred and forty-five years!" "Uh, a hundred and forty-five?", the lawyer muses aloud. "But, I was only fifty nine years old when I passed away." St. Peter looks concerned. "What's the meaning of this!" he exclaims. "Summon the Holy Accountant at once!" Very soon a nebbish looking angel appears, peering through bifocals and frantically flipping the pages of a very large ledger book. "I don't understand where I could have made a mistake," the Holy Accountant says, "I added up his billable hours ..."
Attorney falls overboard on a fishing boat in shark-infested waters. The head shark swims up, goes under him, pushes him up to the surface, takes up to the side of the boat, helps him and hands him a towel.

As the lawyer dries himself off the other people on the boat ask in wonder how he did that.

Lawyer smiles as he dries behind his ears and says "Professional courtesy".
"An atheist is just somebody who feels about Yahweh the way any decent Christian feels about Thor or Baal or the golden calf. As has been said before, we are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further."

Richard Dawkins, 2002

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Re: What's the display resolution of your main computer?

#8 Post by automobus » Mon May 03, 2010 8:27 am

I laughed out loud at these jokes.
My favourite resolution was 2×SXGA (1280×1024), but I have come to love SXGA+ (1400×1050) in my T21. Now, even at my desk, I use T21 more than my DualHead desktop.

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Re: Do lawyers compute? (split from display resolution thread)

#9 Post by goofyGAguy » Mon May 03, 2010 11:28 am

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: The lawyer earns frequent flyer miles.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: When you die, the leech stops sucking your blood.

Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Chelsea Clinton.


:D

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Re: Do lawyers compute? (split from display resolution thread)

#10 Post by BruisedQuasar » Tue May 04, 2010 10:53 pm

Flat fee lawyer? I've had to help more needy people with their court appearances because of Court Appointed Attorneys who will not speak to their flat fee clients before the first court hearing. Just four weeks ago i had to coach a women in how the court process works. She was terrified because she was charged with the typical overinflated felony charges that any lawyer could beat hands down & her flat fee court appointed lawyer refused to speak with her. He shows up late with an intern in tow & spends most of the time with a police officer, the assistant PA & the judge, scares her into pleading guilty for a verbal deal. Fortunately, I told her you always plead not guilty at arraignment or your attorney has nothing to negotiate with and to ask for any plea offer in writing.

It would be a PA's dream for her to plead guilty to the inflated charges & they can do anything with her then. She pled not guilty as I advised and made the attorney do some work for his $1500 bucks, which she will be expected to pay to get probation down to the one year they offer for first offense and the misdemeanor charge they want to tag her with. From what she told me, I don't think the guy read her file. She ended up pleading to a misdemeanor & got probation. Of course, they didn't tell her (but I did) that in Michigan they can extend her probation for five years & in a court hearing extend beyond that to get the $1500 for the attorney who had to be forced to do his job. I warned her she may wish she had taken the year in County jail and be done with it. Given the crowded conditions & budget problems, i doubt she would have drawn more than a few months.

The flat fee lawyers I h've helped many poor people with sure knew their math. Less time put into client, more money per hour & the more cases judges will assign them. What a racket! Child & family therapists are often corrupt as well. I advise single working moms not to take their children to counselors schools recommend to them, when the staff is being crazy about them & their child. The therapist will not go against the school because s\he wants to keep getting referrals. 2nd rate counselors have no "practice" (business) without a cozy relationship with a school or two. Our corruption is not just corporate fat cats and government. No, its nation wide I'm afraid.

--Bruised

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Re: Do lawyers compute? (split from display resolution thread)

#11 Post by ajkula66 » Tue May 04, 2010 11:43 pm

BruisedQuasar wrote:
Our corruption is not just corporate fat cats and government. No, its nation wide I'm afraid.
+ 1

The problem with corruption in general (not just in this society) is that it's like cancer in metastasis...spreads with the speed of light, and next to impossible to cure...
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Re: Do lawyers compute? (split from display resolution thread)

#12 Post by asiafish » Wed May 05, 2010 12:16 pm

BruisedQuasar wrote:Flat fee lawyer? I've had to help more needy people with their court appearances because of Court Appointed Attorneys who will not speak to their flat fee clients before the first court hearing. Just four weeks ago i had to coach a women in how the court process works. She was terrified because she was charged with the typical overinflated felony charges that any lawyer could beat hands down & her flat fee court appointed lawyer refused to speak with her. He shows up late with an intern in tow & spends most of the time with a police officer, the assistant PA & the judge, scares her into pleading guilty for a verbal deal. Fortunately, I told her you always plead not guilty at arraignment or your attorney has nothing to negotiate with and to ask for any plea offer in writing.

It would be a PA's dream for her to plead guilty to the inflated charges & they can do anything with her then. She pled not guilty as I advised and made the attorney do some work for his $1500 bucks, which she will be expected to pay to get probation down to the one year they offer for first offense and the misdemeanor charge they want to tag her with. From what she told me, I don't think the guy read her file. She ended up pleading to a misdemeanor & got probation. Of course, they didn't tell her (but I did) that in Michigan they can extend her probation for five years & in a court hearing extend beyond that to get the $1500 for the attorney who had to be forced to do his job. I warned her she may wish she had taken the year in County jail and be done with it. Given the crowded conditions & budget problems, i doubt she would have drawn more than a few months.

The flat fee lawyers I h've helped many poor people with sure knew their math. Less time put into client, more money per hour & the more cases judges will assign them. What a racket! Child & family therapists are often corrupt as well. I advise single working moms not to take their children to counselors schools recommend to them, when the staff is being crazy about them & their child. The therapist will not go against the school because s\he wants to keep getting referrals. 2nd rate counselors have no "practice" (business) without a cozy relationship with a school or two. Our corruption is not just corporate fat cats and government. No, its nation wide I'm afraid.

--Bruised
I'm not court-appointed or free, I just charge a flat rate for each of my services (criminal plea negotiation, criminal trial, immigration benefit and deportation defense). Actually, I am very expensive, I just don't want to bother tracking billable hours.
"An atheist is just somebody who feels about Yahweh the way any decent Christian feels about Thor or Baal or the golden calf. As has been said before, we are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further."

Richard Dawkins, 2002

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Re: Do lawyers compute? (split from display resolution thread)

#13 Post by jronald » Wed May 05, 2010 4:03 pm

Whats a waste?
Bus load of lawyers going over a cliff, and one seat is empty.

Its odd, my wife in her profession, and then early in my business career, we were both around lawyers 4 to 5 days a week. By and large, I think they have lost track of why they went into the profession. Then every once in awhile, you meet one that just blows your socks off, and does everything contrary to the typical lawyer. I have met 2 in my 40 plus years. They have given away millions in service, because its was the right thing to do. They dont live at the Country Club and dont drive BMW's. What they do, do is have a beer occasionally, bowl regularly and live fully.
Just an observation.

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Re: Do lawyers compute? (split from display resolution thread)

#14 Post by asiafish » Fri May 07, 2010 11:35 am

jronald wrote:Whats a waste?
Bus load of lawyers going over a cliff, and one seat is empty.

Its odd, my wife in her profession, and then early in my business career, we were both around lawyers 4 to 5 days a week. By and large, I think they have lost track of why they went into the profession. Then every once in awhile, you meet one that just blows your socks off, and does everything contrary to the typical lawyer. I have met 2 in my 40 plus years. They have given away millions in service, because its was the right thing to do. They dont live at the Country Club and dont drive BMW's. What they do, do is have a beer occasionally, bowl regularly and live fully.
Just an observation.

Ron
Clearly you don't know the same lawyers that I do. Most of the lawyers I know, both prosecutors and defenders, are very nice people who work hard for the best interests of their clients.

I don't drive a BMW (I prefer Mercedes), but my wife does. Wonderful cars regardless of profession. Charging a fair price for hard work does not being being inexpensive, it means giving the client your best and being well-paid for your hard work. I work my a$$ off for my clients, does that mean I should also be poor? Yes, I could charge less and drive a cheaper car, but by that same logic, shouldn't a doctor also be cheap? What about your mechanic, shouldn't he or she be cheap too?

You get what you pay for. This board is for people who like ThinkPads, which are premium computers. Should we ask Lenovo to cut the pay of its employees so that we can buy ThinkPads cheaper? Won't that hurt the quality?
"An atheist is just somebody who feels about Yahweh the way any decent Christian feels about Thor or Baal or the golden calf. As has been said before, we are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further."

Richard Dawkins, 2002

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Re: Do lawyers compute? (split from display resolution thread)

#15 Post by Marin85 » Fri May 07, 2010 11:39 am

Reading all this thread, I cannot not think of Devil´s advocate :D
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