Thanksgiving?

[RealBlackStuff]

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way. What are we going to do for Christmas?"

[Medessec]

Heh, that's awesome. Wouldn't be surprised if something like that went down in my family.

[MacAoidh]

HaHa

Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2

[emeraldgirl08]

ROFL

Love it!!! I'm going to repeat it to some friends of mine Dom!

Thanks!!!

[Radioguy]

In this scenario, it would serve them right if the daughter showed up in maternity wear (and strap-on belly) and complaining that their ploy interrupted her search for the father.

[Cigarguy]

LMAO!

[TuuS]

A teenage girl sends a message to both her mother and father when she was supposed to be in class, it read something like this...

Mom, Dad...

I'm sorry to be messaging you like this, but I just couldn't bare to face you. I had to skip school today so I could go for some followup testing with my new boyfriend at the free clinic at planned parenthood. We got the results, but because of some irregularities in the testing they have referred us both the the HIV clinic for further testing and it doesn't look good. I know you both will be shocked and disappointed with me and I can't blame you, but with as many teens taking their own lives these days, this really isn't the time to yell at me, I'm going to need your support and your love just to survive this ordeal, so I wanted to get this out of the way in a message, then hopefully we can sit and talk about it without any emotion or anger later.

I won't be home afterschool, but will be there by dinner time and hopefully, maybe you can just give me a hug instead of yelling at me? you can ground me for life later, but right now I feel so alone, and if I don't feel like even my own family loves me, then I just won't be able to go on with life.

So, I'll see you at dinner time, and with your love and support we can get through this.

Later that evening she strolled in the door, found her mom and dad sitting at the table obviously distraught, and she quickly told them to cheer up, it's not all that bad, then proceeded to tell them that nothing at all in her previous message was true, but that she got her report card today and failed science and math and will need to attend summer school.... Then said...

But aren't you glad I'm not pregnant with aids?

[DaKKS]

Hehe, my gf did something similar when she failed level 4 math (complete mindf*ck btw) in high school. Long story short she told her parents that she was knocked up, was getting married, and as a afterthought mentioned that she and the father (me) were moving to the UK.

And yes, in case you're wondering, her father did show up at my flat that day, with a gun... Incidentally, I've been threatened with a gun on four different occasions, three of those were my gf father....

[RealBlackStuff]

I assume one was for a shotgun wedding?

[DaKKS]

I assume one was for a shotgun wedding?

Hehe, no. I'm pretty sure he wanted to kill me. Which is weird because his wife (Sara's mother) thinks the world of me... Can't please 'em all, I suppose.

Also, the last one was the syrian mafia. They're pretty nice after that whole, "I'm going to torture you and kill you family" speech. Now, I spend most of my time in areas that have the highest crime in Sweden, so I'm used to the mafia, gangbangers and the like. But Jesus, that guy scared the crap out of me...

[Paul88]

Like!