How do you tell what a person does for a living?

[RealBlackStuff]

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California,
when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out his window and asked the cowboy . . .
“If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”
Bud looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, and then looked at his peacefully grazing herd.
He calmly answered, “Sure, why not?”
The yuppie parks his car, whipped out his Dell notebook computer, connected it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone,
and surfed to a NASA page on the Internet.
He then called up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he immediately fed to another NASA satellite
that scanned the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opened the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exported it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he received an email on his Palm Pilot saying that the image had been processed and the data stored.
He then accessed a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet via email on his Blackberry and
after a few minutes, he received a response.
Finally, he printed out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-Tech Miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turned to the
cowboy named Bud and said, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”
Bud replied: “That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves.”
Bud watched the young man select one of the animals and looked on amused as the young man stuffed it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud said to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”
The young man thought about it for a second and said, “Okay, why not?”
“You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government,” said Bud.
“Wow! That’s correct,” said the yuppie, “But how did you guess that?”
“No guessing required,” answered Bud. “You showed up here even though nobody called you.
You wanted to get paid for an answer I already knew to a question I never asked.
You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are, and you don’t know a thing about cows . . . this is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog.”

[brchan]

[killer]

That's a blinder, RBS. Thank you for cheering up a dull spring day.

[Puppy]

I especially like the 'He then accessed a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet'